FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
