We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
