I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
