I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
