Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
