To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
