I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
