You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
