Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
