everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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