I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize