So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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