Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
