last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
