just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
