so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
