let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
