like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
