I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
