i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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