do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
