the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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