Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
