you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
