Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
