the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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