My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
