Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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