He is an equal opportunity slut.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
