Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
