why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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