You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
