Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
