i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
