I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
