grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
