what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
