Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
