I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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