Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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