I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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