Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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