Only a mothe r could love this liver
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
