Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize