Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize