she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
