Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if only i could text you this smell
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
