He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
