No stitches, just platelets and will power
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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