how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Found the puke drawer
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
