Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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