I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
