Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
