i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
