It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
