so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
sex in a hospital.. check
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
