I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
