when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
