bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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