There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
