The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
