Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
