You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
