Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Randomize
